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What crazy looks like

Posted on: March 2, 2009

Crazy looks like me some days.

Queen Big Lips

Queen Big Lips

“If you’re crazy, there’s two things you can do to make yourself feel better: One is to get yourself cured. The other is to make everyone you have to deal with crazy.” — Alan Dean Foster

I was having a conversation with some lovely women this weekend about mental illness. I’ve already talked before on the blog about mine, so I won’t get into that again.

But there are days when I feel like I’m barely hanging onto sanity. Not that I’m ever likely to go into some fun sort of craziness where I see things crawling on the walls or start talking to people who aren’t there. Nope, my crazy shows up in different ways. Like not wanting to get out of bed or not being able to deal with crowds. BTW, telling me to “cheer up”

Every day for me involves evaluating my mental state. Sounds exhausting? At first it was, but now it’s become habit. Why do I do this? To make sure that I’m coping well and not sliding into some sort of funk that will affect how I want to live my life. So far, just being aware and making minor adjustments as I need to has helped me maintain fairly well without any medication adjustments.

To answer the question, when will I stop taking medication? Most likely never. At least not any time soon. Our bodies chemistry changes throughout our lives and I do hope that one day mine will change to the extent that I won’t need the daily pill that keeps me stable. Hasn’t happened yet. That fact doesn’t depress me or frustrate me. It is what it is.

Despite all the mental/chemical/physiological stuff, I’ve reached a point where I’m fairly content and happy. Sure, there are things that could be better, different, easier, etc. Why worry about what I can’t change…or can’t change immediately? It is what it is.

So, yes. I’m a crazy person. I’ve embraced my personal craziness and am living my life just as I am. I am what I am.

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2 Responses to "What crazy looks like"

What types of things do you assess when you take your “daily check?” What types of minor adjustments seem to keep you more on-track? This is an interesting concept.

Jillies – What an honest post. You are what you are, and I, for one, think you’re faboo!

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March 2009
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Upcoming

Mar. 10 - Photography Class

Mar. 11 - Quad Cities SnB

Mar. 12 - Lincoln Reenactor performance at BHE

Mar. 13 - Annual budget due

Mar. 14 - SnB trip to Galena

Mar. 16-21 - Spring Break

Mar. 16-18 - On the Front Lines library conference in Springfield

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Mar. 23 - Orientation in Quad Cities

Mar. 24 - Photography Class

Mar. 26 - Spring Break for Academic Librarians workshop in Peoria

Mar. 27 - Supervisor Development in Quad Cities

Apr. 2 - Using Social Technologies in Library Instruction workshop

Apr. 6 - Weight Watchers

Apr. 6 - My birthday

Apr. 7 - Photography Class

Apr. 9-12 - In Kansas

Apr. 10 - College Closed

Apr. 12 - Easter

Apr. 13-19 - National Library Week

Apr. 13 - Weight Watchers

Apr. 14 - Photography Class

Apr. 16 - Evening Instruction Session

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Apr. 20 - Weight Watchers

Apr. 21 - Photography Class

Apr. 22 - Renegade Reference meeting in Bloomington

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Apr. 28 - Photography Class

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May 5 - Photography Class

May 12 - National Library Legislative Day

May 25 - Memorial Day - College Closed

June 4 - RSA Users' Group meeting in Peoria

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June 8 - Nancy Pearl at Bradley University

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July 3 - Holiday - College Closed

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July 10-15 - ALA Annual Conference in Chicago

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