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Facing the truth

Posted on: September 22, 2008

The tools I gained at the meditation retreat are giving me new insight into some problems I’ve been dealing with for awhile now. Yes, work-related problems. So much of my life is spent at work that I can’t really ignore it.

What would I really like? For things to change enough that I’m not struggling on a daily basis. This is happening on a personal level. I don’t find myself as affected by some of the issues as much as I was a month ago. This is a good thing. I’ve realized that I control my own reactions and actions. (I think I’ve rationally know this for a long time, but it was reinforced and now I am also starting to focus on how my body responds when I’m faced with stress.) Being able to respond – or not respond – appropriately is going to be key in how long I’ll stay. At this point, I’m not in a big hurry to leave although I’m still keeping the options open.

What isn’t going to happen…at least not quickly? External changes. I do not have control over other people. This fact isn’t as frustrating as it was. It’s just what it is. There are simply things that are wrong with how people are treated and how things are done. While I can make sure I don’t copy the negative stuff or add to it, it is there. I will continue to try to offer positive and helpful assistance (and not be miffed when it’s rejected.) That’s really all I can do.

The law that was stressed over and over at the retreat was that nothing is permanent. Nothing. Everything is always changing. I realize that this situation is not permanent. What that means exactly, I don’t know at the moment. Life has taught me that when you change often happens in ways you don’t expect.

Another thing I’m working on getting through my thick skull is that I can only work in the present moment. I can plan for the future, but there is no use stressing about it. And the past is gone with no way to change it. This moment is what we have. Right now.

Another perspective is that there are far worse things happening in the world. By comparison, mine are extremely petty. I’ve got food to eat, clothes to wear, a comfortable place to sleep, work to occupy me, people who love me, and so much more. I hope to start volunteering more so that I can keep life in it’s proper perspective.

Yes, things are constantly changing.

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September 2008
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Upcoming

Mar. 10 - Photography Class

Mar. 11 - Quad Cities SnB

Mar. 12 - Lincoln Reenactor performance at BHE

Mar. 13 - Annual budget due

Mar. 14 - SnB trip to Galena

Mar. 16-21 - Spring Break

Mar. 16-18 - On the Front Lines library conference in Springfield

Mar. 19-22 - In Kansas

Mar. 23 - Orientation in Quad Cities

Mar. 24 - Photography Class

Mar. 26 - Spring Break for Academic Librarians workshop in Peoria

Mar. 27 - Supervisor Development in Quad Cities

Apr. 2 - Using Social Technologies in Library Instruction workshop

Apr. 6 - Weight Watchers

Apr. 6 - My birthday

Apr. 7 - Photography Class

Apr. 9-12 - In Kansas

Apr. 10 - College Closed

Apr. 12 - Easter

Apr. 13-19 - National Library Week

Apr. 13 - Weight Watchers

Apr. 14 - Photography Class

Apr. 16 - Evening Instruction Session

Apr. 17 - Information Literacy Summit

Apr. 18 - A Day of Books and Quilts at Toulon Public Library

Apr. 20 - Weight Watchers

Apr. 21 - Photography Class

Apr. 22 - Renegade Reference meeting in Bloomington

Apr. 23 - Illinois Library Day

Apr. 24 - Quarterly Supervisors Meeting

Apr. 27 - Weight Watchers

Apr. 28 - Photography Class

Apr. 29 - Supervisor Training in Quad Cities

May 5 - Photography Class

May 12 - National Library Legislative Day

May 25 - Memorial Day - College Closed

June 4 - RSA Users' Group meeting in Peoria

June 6 - SIL's birthday June 6 - Brother and SIL Anniversary

June 8 - Nancy Pearl at Bradley University

June 13 - WWKIP train trip to St. Louis

July 3 - Holiday - College Closed

July 4 - Independence Day

July 10 - Mom's Birthday

July 10-15 - ALA Annual Conference in Chicago

July 17-19 - Midwest Fiber & Folk Art Fair in Crystal Lake, IL

July 31 - 10th Anniversary

Sept. 7 - Labor Day, College closed

Oct. 6-9 - Illinois Library Association Annual Conference in Peoria

Nov. 23 - Brother's birthday

Nov. 26 - Thanksgiving Day, College closed

Nov. 27 - College Closed

Dec. 7 - MIL's birthday

Dec. 18 - DH's birthday

Dec. 25 - Christmas Day

Dec. 26 - Dad's birthday

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